BIsmillah Rahman a Raheem

Bismillah Rahman a Raheem

"This is Ramadaan, and I remember so well the Ramadans I used to have, promises of never doing anything gay ever again, promises that I would get married and have a wife, promises that I would start my life new, promises that were broken even on the first day I made them. I know what it's like to be craving after other men, to hang around bars, toilets and saunas - I know it all. But most of all, I know that silence because we dont speak of this on our community - perhaps the biggest sin"

Brother Yusuf

I was lonely and isolated as a child. My father was psychologically absent, and my older brother wasn't better. I wanted so much to fit in and please them. I was so desperate for male affirmation and touch that when anyone showed me attention, I would happily have sex with them.

I was sexually abused by at least four others by the time I hit 27...and while I seemed happy on the outside, I was a hurting oh so badly on the inside. I felt dirty andunattractive...and had no self-esteem. So when I went to work, there were those who were ready to help me fit right in and accept a gay identity.

I spent five years going from guy to guy looking for my "ideal" lover...until Islam helped me see that I would never be satisfied in any life outside of Allah's purpose for me. I got help from people who saw the hurt on the inside, not the identity on the outside. So, don't buy the lie. You don't have to be gay.

I want to expand this site so much but I can't do it without you. I need you to E.mail me articles and stories and your own experiences. Even if you only want to talk. Talking about it will be half of your healing.